|Years:||I'm 28 years old|
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Is he using me for sex? 16 clear s he only wants to sleep with you
Home Self Help Relationships Men use me. Men use me Topic locked. Why do i feel like i need a man to be happy? I have been single for 3 years and have felt completely lost for the whole time. Me and my ex My daughters dad broke up mutually and on good terms but i have not felt complete being on my own. I am always on the lookout for a potential relationship but i dont choose just anyone, they have to catch my eye and have a lot going for them. Over the last 3 years, i have met at least 8 guys and the problem that i have is i always give up sex very easily.
Not becuz i just want to have sex but becuz i feel thats Guys use me i have to give them to keep them interested and make them want me. The same thing has happened everytime though. The next day i always get the same "Last night was great but im not looking for anything serious". They always want to see me Guys use me but only for sex and when i text them during the day i always get ignored Let me add i have not been seeing 8 guys at the same time but individually over 3 years.
Stupidly, i always allow it and they will come round maybe once Guys use me twice a week, have a drink and a laugh, have sex and then gone. I am so lonely and have started to wonder if i am destined to be on my own and im only 27! My mum says to me "Stop looking and it will come along" but its easier said than done and saying that to me does not help becuz i dont know how to stop looking when i want it so despreately?
“is he using me?” 7 clear s he’s taking advantage of you
This is something that is on my mind day in and day out and it gets me down so much. Why cant i just be happy with what iv got, my 5 year old daughter for example?
I am destroying myself by letting men use me but i cant stop doing it becuz i always tell myself it could lead to something more but it never does and i never learn either! All i want is to be happy and feel like a part of Guys use me and feel like i belong somewhere and with someone. All my friends and my 2 sisters all have partners but i can never seem to find a guy who is not just into having sex with me. How do i break this habit and how do i attract nicer men?
It cant be that they are like it just becuz i give sex up to them becuz even before it gets to that part they say they are not looking for commitment. So why am i attracting these types? And how do i get it into my head that i shouldn't give sex up straight away and instead just see if they will still be interested by not having sex?
It is totally screwing with my head and destroying me as Guys use me person!
Please help. Hi amylou, I know it's hard but for things to change you have to become empowered. I think it would be useful Guys use me ask yourself some questions too. Why not a group for friendship or mutual interests. In soem ways your mum's advice does make sense because sometimes we find what we want when we aren't looking for it. If a man tries to engage you in a sexual relationship then say no because that's not what you want.
Good luck and I hope my advice has been helpful. Hi amylou96, I think that you have perhaps unwittingly hit the nail on the head - by asking "Why am I doing this? I suspect that your behaviours are largely sub-concious, such that you are only dimly aware and in retrospect of the behaviour pattern that you followed.
I am in two minds as to whether the sum of your behaviour is 'self-defeating', or if it is 'self-fulfilling prophesy' Guys use me, it seems that you are only choosing men who are not emotionally available. I can think of three different reasons that might contribute to this: 1. Are you perhaps holding out for a reconciliation with the father of your daughter?
Men use me
Are you sub-conciously yourself avoiding commitment, to avoid the inevitable pain of a break-up? Perhaps because you hold an archetypal view that all relationships must follow a set-piece plan, which always ends in a painful break-up.
Is there some other quality common to all these men that Guys use me find attractive, which tends to go hand-in-glove with their emotional detatchedness from you? For example, free-spiritedness. Your second behaviour seems to be about falling in love with the idea of a relationship.
It would seem that you have a strong pre-concieved idea of what a relationship should look like, and instantly hope to slot every man who comes along into that ideal. Your third behaviour is about hoping to use sex as a bargaining chip, to achieve your desired end of having a relationship. I should stress that this is clearly a sub-concious act on your behalf - since it always fails spectacularly, and conciously it is obvious to you why it must fail.
If you readily give something away for free, why would someone 'pay' for it. But, this particular behaviour has a more insidious undertone: At one point, you are valueing sex highly, by wishing to use it Guys use me a bargaining chip.
At another point, you are de-valueing sex by Guys use me it up for no discernable gain. Then you are kicking yourself because it didn't play out how you wanted it to. Try, for a moment, to put yourself in the shoes of one of these men: How would they read this behaviour? What would they conclude that you want? How would they best behave in reaction to this? I would be interested to hear your views on these last questions as I have my own Guys use me which I will be pleased to share with you, once you have put some thought into it. I hope that you find these ideas helpful.
Best Wishes, John. Could be that you are associating sex with love I hadnt had a one night stand until the age of After it, I couldn't understand why the guy didnt want to see me again. Because I had been married and with the same guy for over 10 years - I just couldnt get my head round the fact that people can have sex but not be 'in love' or 'in' a relationship.
Im not saying thats the case with you, but sharing my experience of the issue. I am a single parent - not in a relationship. Do feel 'loney' at times however, its not doing my head in the way it used to. Its not easy I know but try and 'celebrate' if you like, all the qualities you do have as a person, your daughter, your family and you may eventually be with someone who will treat you well. At 27 you got lo of years left!!! Im almost 40, still single, maybe I will meet 'the one' maybe not - take it easy and go with the flow.
Take care, BM x. You're using sex, your time and company, and maybe even your love in order to procure a relationship. It doesn't work that way, and trying to force the issue will only make you feel like a cheap sellout. The real question is: What are you doing wrong? The most obvious answer would be that your choice in men sucks, at least it does for your purpose.
Now I'm not sure what kind of man you are looking for, but obviously, since you are a mother with a young child, it should be someone with some Guys use me aspirations. It's also a possibility that you just come on way too strong and 'spook' men away Usually people like some time to decide whether they want a relationship or not. Those who immediately assume a relationship Guys use me usually nothing but trouble to those that don't I'm not saying you personally are, but it's an acquired apprehension.
To be honest, you may be pushing the really decent ones away by giving it up too easily. Think about it. The really motivated, successful guys with good jobs got that way because they worked for it.
I’m a strong, confident woman. but i let men use me.
They enjoy their job because they are constantly having to earn their rewards better paycheck. The ones who are going to be best for you enjoy working hard for what they get. Why would a woman be any different? They don't want to put in the effort to work for their rewards. Myself personally When I find a woman who I want to date I will not have sex with her for the first couple weeks, even though I will invite her to sleep in my bed with me.
If I take a girl home who I've known casually, or who I just met that night, and she wants to have sex I will oblige. But I will lose ALL interested in her from there on out. Because it was too easy. Think about it Try, instead, with the Guys use me guy you single out as a likely target just sleeping with him.
Make it known that there will be no sex until you've been together longer, and just sleep with him. Have a cuddle. Make him work for it, make him work hard. Learn the art of teasing him. Always be just beyond reach, a breath away, close enough that he can feel it, but not quiet touch it Hi Trout, I don't disagree with the principle of what you said. However, I seem to be a weird exception. Just about every woman that I have ever slept with and there have been quite a fewGuys use me have slept with within minutes of first meeting them.
Is he using me? 20 big s he’s using you
I don't pretend to understand why this would be so - whether I have a magic pheramone or something. Nor do I actively seek to make it this way - I am certainly not intentionally a player. However, this experience has become the norm for me.