Well, right, but it's also not the only important relationship quality.
With this person—correction, this nice person—I had no spark; no butterflies keeping me up at night thinking about what he might be doing or thinking. But nothing was wrong.
Is it smart to keep dating a nice person even when you don’t feel a spark?
In fact, on face value, it seemed that everything was essentially right. We went out on a few dates. Our personalities clicked. He made plans in advance.
My texts never went unanswered. But still, no spark. I figured I'd wait to feel a flutter of something, but I wasn't sure how long.
What it’s like to date the nice guy when there’s no real spark
All of the inner turmoil got me thinking: Is kindness the most important quality in a partner? And should it trump all other qualities? Obviously I don't want to be with someone who treats me terribly despite what my past choices seem to suggestbut where's my baseline for what constitutes feeling fulfilled?
With each successive date I went on with this nice guy, I grew fonder of him and wanted less and less to hurt his feelings by breaking it off, especially given that nothing specific seemed to be wrong. I was growing to care for him—but enough to be with him?
I wasn't so sure. The only thing I was sure about, it seemed, was feeling confused—and according to a professional, it makes total sense why. But, she caveats, staying in a partnership that isn't great and fulfilling for you is also, likely, not great for the other person involved—even if they're a Very Nice Person whose feelings you certainly don't want to hurt. And since the sparks you're looking for are unpredictable and hard to come by, one way to take control of the situation is to audit yourself and learn what it is you do need from a relationship. Thesesays Dr. Daramus will look different for everyone.
How to find the missing spark when he's great on paper, but missing chemistry
From there, you'll be better equipped to decide what constitutes "enough" in a potential partner. Ultimately, if you feel in your heart that someone isn't right for you, breaking off the relationship is the nice thing to do. There's a difference, after all, between allowing room for potential to develop and leading someone on. Daramus says.
On that note, here's how to tell if it's time to break up with someone, according to your Myers-Briggs personality type. Also, your soul mate may not be "the one," according to experts.
He’s a great guy, but there are no sparks!
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Facebook Pinterest Twitter Youtube Instagram. M y taste in men could be and has been described as bad—and that's being generous. So when I finally met a guy who is best described as "nice," I decided to see where things could go.
12 women on whether they felt a “spark” when they met their partners
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