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Controlling behavior can come from just about anyone in your life. It could be your boss, a family member, a friend, or even your partner. Controlling people are all around. We most commonly hear about controlling husbands and controlling relationships. Although controlling behavior can feel extra traumatic in romantic relationships, any person in your life can control you in a harmful way. And they can be a man or a woman.
It is a mark of courage to recognize the s of controlling behavior, and an act of bravery to respond appropriately. The controlling person targets an individual and dominates them in an unhealthy, self-serving manner.
Controlling men characteristics
Being manipulated, used, or controlled by another person can lead to a of harmful effects. Remember it is not at all your fault. Controlling people tend to prey on the kindest folks they can find. Remember to be cautious when you see even small s of controlling behavior. If it happened once, it was probably for a reason, and the person will probably want to use you again. When these more subtle s become constant, and repetitive, or form a pattern, then it is high time to take action — either by speaking upsetting boundariesdistancing yourself through techniques like grey rockingor exiting the relationship.
The psychology of controlling behavior
There are various reasons why some people try to control others, and sometimes these are difficult to figure out. None of these have to do with you, the victim of inappropriate control. But if you want to preserve a relationship with someone who controls you, consider whether they might be able to work on any of the above influences.
Some controlling behaviors can be recognized easily while others take time to manifest. When the following examples below become repetitive and form into a habit — it has become a controlling relationship. Psychological manipulation is a broad spectrum of mental and emotional abuseand its damaging effects can be long lasting.
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Well, this may be how it all starts, as somewhat of a joke between two people. Psychological manipulation can show as one or many of but not limited to the following:. Often, the person being controlled will turn a blind eye or not acknowledge controlling behaviors. But in the case of physical abuse, the control may have started without your realizing it — as the other person just crossing a of subtle fine lines.
Getting beaten up is not the only form of physical abuse, even though it is the most common. Physical control can also look like restrictions on travel, the clothes you wear, or who you see. Eventually you find yourself physically isolated and in fear of violence should you decide to meet up with a friend or just go for a walk. These are examples of controlling behavior using physical abuse — or even just the threat of it — as a weapon. Controlling husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, and partners can all be physically controlling and abusive.
Both men and women can commit this behavior.
Who falls victim to controlling people?
First, a controlling person may find ways to cut off your autonomy so you become financially dependent on them; they might ask you to change jobs or even leave work. This ensures that everything you do with a financial implication, goes through them.
The second, alternative manifestation is equally restrictive. In both situations, it can become almost impossible for you to leave the relationship due to the financial burdens in your name. Not all these s will clearly mean that someone is trying to control you. Controlling behavior exists on a spectrum, from unconscious or accidental control, to full-blown, intentional abuse. There might be just one of the s above, or other s not mentioned.
So the best way to move forward is to trust your gut. Notice the s and keep them in mind.
What is controlling behavior?
Proceed cautiously. Chat Now ». What is controlling behavior? Who falls victim to controlling people?
Some of the more subtle s of control can be: Giving or seeking more attention than usual. Threatening you with ultimatums. Using banter as a disguise for underlying criticism in the presence of family and friends.
Making you feel unworthy or worthless. What causes controlling behavior?
Common ways people control others: No one controlling relationship is worse than the other — they are all equally bad! Psychological manipulation Psychological manipulation is a broad spectrum of mental and emotional abuseand its damaging effects can be long lasting. Psychological manipulation can show as one or many of but not limited to the following: intense jealousy isolating you from friends and family judging how you speak the silent treatment constant criticism guilt trips emotional blackmail intimidation Physical control or abuse Often, the person being controlled will turn a blind eye or not acknowledge controlling behaviors.